I’ve talked a lot of trash about how unethical it is to post only unmodeled knitting photos, and Megan‘s comment to my last post inadvertently called me on that hypocrisy. Here are the goods, in less-than-edifying detail.

A. I really did try to take a photo of myself in the damn thing this afternoon. This surly red nothing is the pinnacle of my efforts. In it, you can almost see how crappy the neck finishing is. The arm’s length school of self-portraiture is really only suitable for MySpace, as evidenced by the fact that I appear to be pissed, have an indeterminate physique, and the high-resolution shots make my eyes look creepy and show off my facial piercing.

B. All photo shoots from the age of 7 have devolved to this sort of mugging. The reason for this is that I am medically, terminally incapable of summoning a real smile on command. Ask my sister. This Christmas we almost got kicked out of Wal-Mart Photography because they thought I was smiling badly out of disrespect.

C. Mario demanded that I take a ‘nice’ shot with a ‘nice’ smile. I thought he was channeling my mom, and as a result I was stunned just long enough to get one alright photo.

The real dirt is thus: I can’t take photos of myself, and until some kind of daylight savings thing happens I can’t be photographed in this sweater in any sort of light that shows details. And by the time that happens, I’ll probably have taken it apart.